what is friendship?

How quickly can you become friends with someone? I think, very quickly and not just friends but BFFs! Which makes me wonder, what exactly is friendship? For me, it’s not just about having common interests but it’s also that brilliance of synchronisity – having the same thoughts at exactly the same time, reading each other’s mind and saying something at exactly the same time. Friendship is about being there for someone through thick and thin, knowing that it’s OK to tell a friend something they said was uncool, talking about it and then moving on. Friendship is about knowing when to just listen, when to give advice and give a comforting pat on the hand or a hug when words won’t help. Friendship is not about passing judgement, but keeping an open mind. It’s about learning and the willingness to show someone else a different way of looking at something.

Friendship took on a whole new meaning for me this year and Bob Boze, gives us his take on what friendship means to him.


Several months ago, a fellow author from New Zealand asked for help on Your Write Dream (Facebook writers group). Simple enough, they wanted help writing their Amazon description for their next book, Aqua Bay.

Up flew my hand. Me! Me! Pick Me! And, she did.

That task was quickly finished and led to my beta reading Aqua Bay for her and she, beta reading my new novel, The Beach Pool. (Like the way I got that plug for our books in?)

It also led to a wonderful friendship as we learned how much alike we were: Aside from the fact we lived on the other side of the world from each other.

Somewhere in all that she mentioned she loved to travel and would love to visit San Diego. I responded with, “You’re welcome to stay with us and I’ll gladly show you our wonderful city.” Neither of us having any idea where those words would lead us.

Two months later, I stood in baggage claim at San Diego International Airport as a woman with one of the most wonderful smiles I’ve ever seen ran up to me and locked me into a hug. Hug gladly returned and our friendship launched itself into a whole new orbit. I think it’s fair to say we each were everything the other had expected and so much more.

Off to my house we went with her gaping and gawking at everything. I immediately realized she is just a tall child and started plotting everywhere I would take her!

I need to pause here and tell you that my biggest concern was how she and Sheryl (my wife) would get along. It’s not every day you say, “Honey, a strange woman, (she’s not really strange) who I’ve never met, is coming to stay with us for 10 days.”

HA! One foot inside the door and they were besties! Two feet inside, they had joined forces and were picking on me. “Why is your husband so strange that he invites someone he’s never met to come stay?” Casey asked. “I don’t know, he was like that when I found him. Just go with it. I do,” Sheryl replied.

Her first full day here it was off to the zoo where we volunteer. She now knows more about animals than she ever wanted to. Our day ended with lunch at Alberts restaurant in the zoo, next to the waterfall.

Day two. She called Air New Zealand and extended her stay to 2 weeks. Yip! That’s kiwi for Yay! I’ve come to learn they have their own language down there. Like when she told me I was half “munted” after we visited our friends wine bar. Munted? Yip, how was I to know that craft beer was 11%? Oh yeah, it does say that on the beer board. Good thing Sheryl’s driving.

During her two weeks here I (we at times) took her to all of our favorite places. Made her gain 5 kilos (whatever those are) as we ate our way through San Diego.

We also visited all the places I had taken my couples in my romance trilogy. (Well, not London, Paris or Istanbul but, I’ll come back to that.) If you want to know everywhere we went, and everything we ate, check her previous posts. Warning: Grab a napkin so you don’t drool on the desk. She’s really good on food descriptions!

Our two weeks together was not all play. We managed to visit an apple orchard, the subject of Light My Way, which we’re co-authoring, and got 5 ½ chapters written. We went over each other’s books and what needed to be done on each. Talked about getting her works into paperback and covers done. Launching me into the 21st century and building a web site, and a whole bunch more.

After two fantastic weeks, she went back home. She came as a friend and left not only as a best friend but a special friend: One who would sit at the end of the runway with me. (Read my autobiography to understand.) When she came we were two authors helping each other. Now, we’re two co-authors, so in sync with each other it’s impossible to describe.

So, where to from here? Well, first up will be a hundred projects we’ll tackle together and help each other with. Oh, and then London, where we plan to meet next year, before heading to Ireland, Scotland and Northern England.

Next time another author says, “Can you help?” Throw that hand up and yell Me! Me! You may very well discover a wonderful writer out there who will change your life forever.